Two about cigarettes . . .
Was out having a cigarette with two of the other IT bods from work, and got talking to an Older Gent from our company, also having a crafty fag.

"Ahh, so YOU'RE Sigourney'sBeaver, then?" he asked, "you're the one that deals with the intranet, aren't you? I hear you're working with Sophie on the department's intranet pages."

"Yes," I said, "But she's a complete liability. She doesn't have a clue what she's doing, and I pretty much have to redo all the work she does on them. She's pretty stupid, really, how, I mean just HOW did she get a job working here? Really?"

IT bod: "Sophie is Older Gent's daughter, you know."



But she WAS totally vacant.

_______________________________________

Another one:

Setting the scene - three of us watching TV round a mates house: Tony (who's house it is, and who's father has recently died from lung cancer) and Matt, as well as myself.

Me (to Matt): Got a spare fag?

Matt: No. Get your own.

Me: You tight git. I always give you a cig when you ask for one!

Matt: Aye, rollies!

Me: Then why ask for them if you don't like rollies?

Matt: Cos just but though! A rollie is not the same as a cigarette, value wise!

Me: You unbelievably tight bastard.

Matt: OK, here's a cigarette. But I hope it's the one that gives you cancer and kills you!

Twat.
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Tue 8 Nov 2011, 18:23, 2 replies)

what if it WAS the one that gave you cancer?
would you stab him?
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Tue 8 Nov 2011, 23:39, closed)

Is this you?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:55, closed)