Teenage Crushes - Part TwoFreddie Woo writes: I've still got weird feelings for a well-known female TV presenter from the 1980s. I'm now in my forties, work in the same building as her and she follows me on a number of social networking sites. And now, she knows about it.
Tell us about the teenage crushes that still make you go wobbly.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:04)
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Katherine JenkinsNot a teen crush by any stretch of the imagination as my teenage days are but a distant awkward memory, but fucking hell what I wouldn't do to spend some quality sweaty time with that busty blonde vision of pure womanly lovelyness. I would happily crawl a mile, naked and over a bed of broken glass, razor blades and dirty skag needles just to be given the opportunity to suck the skin off her shit (Not that I believe for a moment that Miss Jenkins does toilet of course - and if she did it would probably smell of roses)
You might think that meeting her in the flesh (MMmmmm flesh...) would be one of the highlights of my life so far, but no. I actually got the chance to meet her for a second time. (My rapist's smile, sweaty skin and lazy lob from Round One obviously went unnoticed)
I was cool. Fucking cool, even if I do say so myself. Not in any measurable way. Not in a way that I could possibly put into words. Not in any context, let alone on a humourous website. So you'll just have to take my word for it. I was raw fucking sex made flesh. This was my chance to impress her with my powerful intellect and sharp wit. I was going to be like Oscar Wilde. (only less gay) We would chat, laugh and flirt. Time would become meaningless as we would gaze into each others eyes. Then later on we would share each others bodies and endeavour to push the very boundaries of sexual extacsy...
"Oh hi TheMattInAHat, nice to see you again" quoth Katherine
"MMfffhhuugggHiyaKathbbtthhfffSHEFUCKINGREMEMBERSME!fffbbll..."
"Nicetoseeyoagain.....mMMmmmmmmm"
I have never fucked Katherine.
(Still very (very) much would though)
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TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 21:45,
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Good to see a bona fide would-be-rapist on b3ta;)
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whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 22:34,
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Seconded.And would also enjoy said broken glass opportunity with the same reward.
(, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 11:58, closed)
La Jenkins.Pretty girl, dreadful singer.
One of my colleagues got pissed and chucked a full pint over her at the Classical Brits a few years ago - she was so coked up she hardly noticed.
(, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 16:17, closed)
Oh holy fuck yesOne of my genuine mega teenage crushes. God yes.
(, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 16:22, closed)
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