Dr. Lurve...
I went to an all-girls Catholic school, so between the hours of 9 and 4 those of the male persuasion were very difficult to come across. We shared buses with the all-boys school up the road, but the ones our age were all spotty oiks and the sixth formers wouldn't talk to us for some reason.

So yes, picture the scene - A school which is little more than a holding pen for walking hormones, all the male teachers being over the age of 50 (in the 70's they had a spate of teachers running off with sixth-formers). Suddenly, when I was in Year 10, the school, in their infinite wisdom, decided to hire a new Lab Assistant. Who was male. Who had just graduated. Who was quite literally, to this day, the most spankingly gorgeous person I have ever seen in real life.

Now, I wasn't the only person to think this, not by a long shot. Every single girl in that school thought this guy was the best thing since B&H and Bacardi Breezers. Everywhere he went, girls would follow him around wolf whistling, and after a while, our science teachers just stopped trying to speak whenever this guy was in the room, since all we did was stare at him and burst into rapturous applause whenever he turned around. We never got bored of this, and all he ever did was blush, the poor guy. We called him Dr Lurve, and to this day, if someone mentions him to my friends, we all sigh and go off into little daydreams for a while.

Unfortunately, Dr Lurve was fired after getting off with a sixth-former after about 8 months. A large group of Year 7 girls beat her up after this for "taking him off us". Those of us in the upper years all agreed that she deserved it, the bitch.

So there you have it - not my first teenage crush but a powerful example of who NOT to hire if you are charged with looking after over a thousand teenage girls, and just how scary they can be.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sun 8 Nov 2009, 16:13, Reply)