more of a gathering
5 of us had gathered for a bit of a 'sesh' at a friends (A2) house (he has hosted many brilliant parties at this location). So the 5 of us are chatting away, when we be that A1 (as he will be known from now) couldnt drink a bottle of whiskey. he refuses to even try, we tell him that R could do it, and feel fine. A1 and R never have seen eye to eye, and are always trying to out do each other, and thus, A1 necked a bottle of whiskey. The rest of us drank normally, and then headed to the pub. A1 was getting very tipsy at this stage, and so we decided to head to a nightclub and get him in before he was too drunk. They stopped him just to search him, but, A1 saw it as a threat, and kicked off. As the doormen tried to remove him, he held on to the doorframe, screaming at the top fo his voice "IS THIS ABOUT ID??" Out he went, and we later found him talking to some random people about 'Chris packet, the greatest footballer ever'. Time for home, and for the 10 minutes it took, A1 screamed, fell over, walked away, stumbled, hit us and was generally a cunt. We finally got him in the house, where he collapsed on the floor. he was left there, and we headed to bed. During the night we heard him fall down the stairs, but decided to leave him as he'd annoyed us. In the morning however he was nowhere to be seen. we found 2 very neat packets of vomit on the stairs, pointing in the direction of the toilet. We approached slowly and edged to door open. The sight we saw will stay with us forever. Sat on the toilet was A1, covered in shit. his trousers, t-shirt hands and face. it turns out during the night he had needed a poo, and rushed up stairs. as he ran, he lost his footing and fell back down, where he shat himself. as he crawled back upstairs he was sick, not once, but twice. finally in the toilet, he pulled down his trousers to find a pretty messy brown package. in the confussion he picked up his jeans by the shitties part, covering his hands, realising his mistake he held his face in shame....covering his head in bowel spat. he then wiped his hands on his shirt and fell asleep on the jon.

we phoned him later that day, he had just got out of the shower after 3 hours of scrubbing himself.

brilliant
( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Thu 20 Apr 2006, 1:44, Reply)