Petition/Survey type thing
Let me start by telling you, without boasting, that I am really very intelligent. As you may know, in primary schools, the class only goes as quickly as the weakest mind can cope with.
This was hardly ideal for me, and after learning different ways of long multiplying FOR THE FOURTH BLOODY TIME, something inside me snapped.

Rather than become a nine year old drug addict, or going on a warpath destroying any reference to ridiculously basic arithmetic in my path, or somesuch, I acted well within the law, and, as is one of the many rights enjoyed by british citizens, I organised a petition. Basically, I went round at playtime and asked everyone to sign if they thought we should do more interesting things in maths, like maybe even, whisper it, algebra. Of course, many of them disagreed, and proceeded to take the piss out of me mercilessly (in hindsight, no more than I deserved), but because of my eloquent persuasiveness, all of them signed anyway.

Armed with the signatures of twenty or so pupils, I went to my teacher, duty-bound to tell him how rubbish his maths lessons were and could we have some better ones, please. Suffice to say, he went apopleptic. I cried. Maths lessons remained a joke. There's probably a moral in there somwhere (other than the obvious don't be a keen precocious little shit, I mean).
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 22:59, Reply)