GCSE Cider Fest
Upon completion of my GCSE's in 1988, my mate and I bought four litres of cider from a cornershop in Carshalton and went and drank them in the park within about two hours.

From there, we went to Sutton, purchased another two litres of cider each, and sat outside the station drinking it. By this time it was about 4pm. Twice I razzed in a phonebox whilst drinking it and had a couple of pisses behind the Evening Standard box. No one said a thing.

Come six o'clock completely mandrillised. Meet up with two girls for a "celebratory" Pizza Hut (as you did in those days). Carried on trying to work through a pitcher of Heineken in the restaurant...talking shite etc. Cue delivery of two large pizzas to table and I am gripped by an earth shattering razz convulsion. Body violently trembling, I remember desparately trying to hold my lips together to swallow the broth. And then, my sinuses and nostrils gave way under the pressure. Extreme high pressure cider vom all over the girls and the grub. A real Mr Creosote effort. To the girls credit, they mopped the spew off their pizza and still ate it.

Eventually we got chucked out after I spewed again on the floor.

To top things off nicely, I logged my pants on the bus on the way home and then slept for twelve hours in my clothes. Come morning I was in the most disgusting state I have ever been. Naturally I kicked the day off with a nice relaxing hangover wank.
(Mandrill, Tue 24 Jul 2007, 3:25, Reply)