Vegetarian food
*rubs hands together*

Right, first of all I was a veggie for fifteen years. I'm not gonna go into the whys and whatnot, lets just say I became one of my own free will and then fifteen years later decided I'd had enough and I needed some red meat in my system.
Over those years I must have eaten some of the worst shit in my life. Really, what some people believe to be a decent alternative to a meat dish is beyond belief.

One time, I went out on a works christmas lunch to find only one veggie option on the menu, chargrilled peppers with rice. Fair enough, thinks me, I'll have some of that.
When it came it was microwave pieces of pepper with some boiled white rice. No chargrilled, no flavouring, nothing. Just warm peppers and boiled rice. Nice.

Weddings were always a laugh. One time, for my main, I was served a hollowed out, raw tomato filled with boiled rice and sultanas. I wasn't sure if I should fuck it or eat it.

The worst wedding was a mates in Spain. I knew he loved food and assured me he had made sure that the veggies were going to get some good andalucian food.
Sure enough, a steaming bowl of of (what looked like) chickpea stew was placed before me. I grabbed my spoon only to find the waiter pulling the bowl away from me.
"This is not for you, this is the meat dish". Turns out there were lumps of ham in it. At that moment I really didn't care and wanted to eat it.
Instead I as given a piece of lettuce with some oil dribbled on it.
Then they brough the meateaters roasted duck.
I love duck.
One of the reasons I started eating meat again was so I could eat duck.
So, as I sit there watching my friends rip apart the sweet birds flesh, I was presented with a plate of grilled vegtables.
A slice of carrot, a chunk of courgette and a mushroom.
I do believe I cried.

Before I hit the 'post this message' button, I must say one more thing.

Quorn.

What the fuck is that shit? As a veggie I would often go to someones house to be served a fine quorn curry or somesuch nonsense.
Listen, if I'm veggie, why the fuck are you serving me a meat alternative? I don't eat meat, I don't need an alternative. Especially one that tastes like mouldy fish.
Really, quorn simply is the spawn of satans excrement and there is no reason to eat it at all (apart from the sausages, they're ok).
(EvilMeister, Fri 18 May 2007, 0:03, Reply)