Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
« Go Back
Smoking!I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. Some may think this unlikely, in view of my lifestyle, but it is true.
The reason for this is not schoolyard brainwashing or anything like that, but is down to my dear old Dad.
When I was about four, I was trying to imitate him, as kids do, and stole his roll up. He asked if I would like to try smoking and naturally I said yes. As my mother stood on, looking and suppressing a chuckle, he put the roll up in his mouth and demonstrated what to do. Then he gave me a cigar, and lit it. I put it betwixt my lips and sucked enthusiastically, taking on board a huge quantity of smoke.
To the accompaniment of my parents' laughter I was prolifically sick, and felt bad for a very very long time (well, several hours). If you don't believe a child can turn green, I'm proof it can.
Naturally, this has put me off smoking.
Perhaps, actually, that was good parenting, being cruel to be kind. That, or my folks have a vicious sense of humour.
(
disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 16 Aug 2007, 11:07,
Reply)
« Go Back