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This is a question Terrible Parenting

My parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.

On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)

(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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This question is now closed.

I never understood any of his novels - didn't stop me enjoying them though.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:58, Reply)
I enjoyed reading WIll Self's
novels. Didn't understand them but lots of new words
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:56, Reply)
My vocabulary improved no end when I read a big book about a guy called Dick Tionary. Shit story, but loads of new words.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:54, Reply)
I second that motion.
It's getting dull as a Welsh Brothel.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:52, Reply)
i reccomend.......
The finest single malt whiskey, a cigar and a shitload of sudafed:
cures my hayfever and makes me as horny as a priest at choir practice
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:52, Reply)
can we have the next question early?

All this talk of crosswords is making me reach for the whisky and paracetemol.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:49, Reply)
almost back on topic
my son was expelled from school at 14 and in the three years since has done very little. He recently did some scheme type thing where they get a load of excluded kids and make them run a project.
After a day one of the other kids came up to him and had a go at him for using "all those big words that we don't understand"
My son said "I am sorry, I don't mean to, it is just my vocabulary". The other kid said "there you go again, what does that mean?"
so..to bring it back on topic
i am a bad parent for teaching my son long words that make him stand out.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:41, Reply)
What sort of trouble are we talking about here?
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:41, Reply)
No, it's only any good if cunnilingus is 1 down.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:39, Reply)
Sad,Sad, Sad...
After reading all of these stories I feel I have to share my tale.

I once asked my mummy for a piggy-back before bed and she wouldn't. I cried.

She's 5 foot tall and 77 and I'm 6 foot and 47.


(Now get the fuck back on topic or there'll be trouble...)
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:38, Reply)
You dissing my mum?
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:37, Reply)
all the below answers on this page are shit
I blame the parents
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:34, Reply)
10 across this morning...
.. was cunnilingus.
Does that count?
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:34, Reply)
Those handbags
Turquiose is sooooo last season!

Nothing says anhiliation like red.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:34, Reply)
You have no idea how true that is....
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:33, Reply)
The times crossword may be good for your vocabulary but it's no good for your sex life.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:33, Reply)
My brain hurts....
..when I watch "Big Brother's little brother".
That Dermot bloke is a fuckin' genius.
He must have a IQ of at least 20.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:32, Reply)
Me too
But I no a lot ov long words innit.

Comes of having an English degree.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:31, Reply)
The big one is pooflakes.
I prefer a weapon built for speed.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:30, Reply)
I'm shit with crosswords an' that.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:29, Reply)
I think you guys might need these:

(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:29, Reply)
I highly recommend doing the Times crossword to improve vocabulary. It did wonders for mine.

My parents are no good with crosswords. I think that's terrible.

(Close enough, seeing as it's still Wednesday, even if that is the new Thursday?)
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:28, Reply)
I wasnt aware I was piss taking - I'm sorry you find my extended vocabulary threatening.
It was never my intention to offend, maybe you'd prefer me to assume a more monosyllabic mantle to make you feel more at home?
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:25, Reply)
Didn't you know - Wednesday is the new Thursday.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:23, Reply)
Damn! Trumped. I've only got 2 Sudafed capsules.

The lay observer would be forgiven for thinking it's Thursday around here.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:22, Reply)
No! but I am wondering if I can get high on 4 lemsip cold and flu tablets.
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:20, Reply)
A word that often crops up on word bingo in my firm.

(And I know what it means)
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:20, Reply)
You've not found a Topic in your desk drawer too have you?
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:18, Reply)
Topic - yum
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:14, Reply)
Every day's a school day on B3ta.

I'm glad though. It seems worthwhile now, knowing that being on the arse-end of Cap'n Haddocks piss-taking has enriched someone's vocabulary.

Now I feel (slightly) less of a twat-bat.

(What was the subject of this QOTW again?)
(, Wed 22 Aug 2007, 15:14, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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