Fathers Revenge
First let me explain that my father and his brothers are petty vengeful cunts of the highest order. When I was 16 my mother made me work my dad and my uncles on the building sites. I was basically the tea boy and sweeper, much to the hilarity of my dad and his brothers. But just above me in the building site pecking order was this guy called 'shit mouth Dave'. Now Dave was none too bright and looked a bit like chunk from the Goonies. It was obvious Dave been the butt of many a joke and prank from the brothers but he had decided to get revenge. This was his first mistake!

We were building an extension on a sandwich shop one week and we were all constantly bombarded with free sandwiches all the time, bonza i hear you cry, not exactly!

Dave had terrible teeth and breathe, it looked and smelt like he was eating turds for breakfast. Hence the nickname 'shit mouth dave'. It turns out he had some very odd mouth disorder that he caught in Thailand!!!!!

Well anyway, unknown to all of us while dave was being very helpful and picking up the sandwiches for all of us everyday he was also licking and spitting in them. A few days roll on and my uncle jim starts getting these fucked up ulcers in his mouth and a few days later were all fucked in the mouth apart from Dave. After some careful detective work and the doctor asking us had we recently been to a foreign land licking out the bum holes of ladyboys (we assumed that’s what he meant) we sussed dave was fucking with us. Revenge was afoot.

Dave loved his shitty and loud Nova SRi (yes he was a chav too) and my dad knew this was his Achilles heel. One afternoon the brothers sent dave off across town in the work van to pick some shit from the hardware store that they didn't need. knowing he'd be gone for hours cause he was a lazy slackin cunt they set about revenge.

One by one my dad and his brothers took steaming huge dumps in a plastic bag. Jesus i felt sick. Then they opened up the radiator on daves car and threw it in there.

Remember this was the summer 98 and it was really fucking hot. Dave would drive to work every day and ask people if they could smell something weird in his car, we all replied 'no' of course. The smell was really fucking bad and i still retch now thinking about it. For three weeks he drove round with shit in his car but dave had to have his car stripped down in the end, which cost a fortune.

I love my Father

Cherry popped-first post

Length- I have to take a run up lubed with Castrol GTX to get it in.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 11:55, Reply)