Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Showdown in Aisle sevenAbout ten years ago now.
Whilst rooting about in the frozen veg section of the local Tesco.
I got a sudden sharp pain in my right shin. I looked down and there was a young boy, aged 5-6 who was leering up at me. I was in a state of shock and watched as he trotted over to this bottle-blonde, trophy-wife, type pushing a laden trolley.
Him: Mummy, see that stupid man over there? Well, I just kicked him (laughs)
Her: (In a disinterested tone) Oh? Well, he probably deserved it. (Looks over at me with a dead-eyed look) Come along then.
Despite the pain in my leg (and the resulting large bruise) I actually felt sorry for her. I got the impression she was terrified of the little Damien-alike. I reckon, in ten years, he'll be up in court for murdering several people giving a "Because I felt like it" style defense.
(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 12:04, Reply)
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