Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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B&Q FunWriting all these things makes me realise what a legend my dad is and if you read any of my previous posts you will by now realise that my dad is a DIY man and an honoury cunt.
Shopping for paint is boring and shit (as i have found out in my later years) but my dad made it all the more funnier when we were queing up in B&Q to pay. Suddenly he fucks off and proclaims that he is bringing the car round the front. 2 seconds later the smell of the most disgusting guiness and egg sandwich ridden fart hits all and sundry in the que. My poor mother took the unsaid blame from the fellow shoppers eyes while my dad was outside pissing himself with laughter and grinning like a rapist in a nunnery.
He has taught me so many good lessons.
(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 12:13, Reply)
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