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This is a question Terrible Parenting

My parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.

On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)

(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Lies my parents told me
When I was but a wee Vorlonlet and my little brother was just a baby, my highly-educated, workaholic Mother took a stab at being a housewife. At the time my Dad was in the Navy and thus away a lot and we lived in a one-bus-a-day rural hamlet. Mother dearest unsurprisingly found herself bored shitless.

So she made her own fun, most notably by putting utter rubbish into my innocent little head. The one I remember most vividly was that every time I told her I had a pain somewhere or felt ill she replied with "oh dear, that's your hypochondria". I was convinced that I had some kind of terminal illness with an endless list of symptoms. The result was that at playgroup I'd toddle over to the helpers, tears in my eyes, and come out with lines like "My hypochondria's bad in my tummy," at which point they would unfailingly piss themselves laughing.

To this day she maintains that it was worth it. For the lulz, as it were.

(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 15:18, Reply)

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