Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Fun with ElectricityA minor blip from my otherwise saintly and long-suffering mother.
Cutting the grass was one of my jobs (old fella worked in London, we were in sunny Jockland)and we had a garden about the size of a footy pitch, but 200 yards long and down the side of a hill, so about 3 extension leads were required. On being asked to trim the jungle a bit I tried my tested skive method of 'the extension leads knackered'.
Oh no sez Mumsie, I fixed it. Bottoms. Off I trudge to haul the Flymo up the North Face of the Eiger.
Lead into socket, switch on (couldn't be arsed walking back up hill), connect next lead, amble on, plug mower into socket.... and wonder bemusedly why I am now upside down in a bush.
Once the world stopped going round I dragged my vibrating self back up the garden, switched off the mains and investigated. Not much of an electrician my mum - the concept of tightening those little screws was a bit beyond her...
Electrocuted by my own dear mum.
This is the same lady who nearly electrocuted anyone using the plumbing system in an entire hospital (don't ask).
And the same one who dropped me on my head on concrete when I was 6 months old. Her excuse? 'you wriggled'. Apparently I was 'a bit quiet' afterwards and to this day the back of my head is flat. No long lasting effects though (wibble, drool).
And where did she work? The Royal Hospital for Sick Children.
(, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 16:34, Reply)
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