Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
« Go Back
the most embarrassing thing evari went to a boys school of around 800-900 pupils ... there was a swimming pool and every last one of us minger adolescents went through that heavily chlorinated pool every week ... at one point, as a careless 13-14yr old, i managed to slice a small paper cut on my face, on swimming day - massive infection resulted and my face looked like a sloppy guiseppe pizza - the doc prescribed calamine lotion and patience ... under the prompting of my mother, my father was told to have "a quiet word" with me one day about the *real* reason for this explosion of plooks ... we were in the car outside the house ... he stopped the engine but didn't get out ... he had question ... i waited ... "er, do you, um, masturbate?" he asked ... the earth failed to turn on its axis for a few seconds while i wrestled with my conscience (lie and be damned; admit it and be damned) ... "yes" i squeaked ... and he made some mild comments about "not overdoing it" ... it was never mentioned again ... the idea that an open cut in a manky swimming pool full of boy piss and god knows what else caused the problem? nah, impossible. our son must be wanking himself stupid to get spots like that ...
at least they didn't inspect my palms for hair growth
(
writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 20:47,
Reply)
« Go Back