Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Absent minded scientist dadDad was the one who got me ready for infant school as mum was a nightshift queen (in the 70s/early 80s you got paid as much as a plumber for packing biscuits). As he always had his nose in a journal or research paper, these are some of the situations I found myself in when dropped off at the school gate:
1. Wearing a blouse with strawberry yoghurt from yesterdays packed lunch smeared all over the inside.
2. A thin layer of Bubbalicious gum (cola flavoured) coating my chin, refusing to come off.
3. White gloss paint on the back of my head from leaning against a newly painted radiator.
4. Bald patches on the back of my head after I cut out aforementioned white gloss paint.
5. Cat poo on my socks.
6. About to pass out from a blood infection.
(, Fri 17 Aug 2007, 16:27, Reply)
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