my dad
he's totally fucked up, but it's not really his fault. he was raised by a man who would daily beat him with a studded belt, and a woman who hated the entire world, with the exception of herself
due to this wonderful upbringing, dad was a bit generous with his discipline, up to and including knocking one of my teeth out for getting mud on my shoe and breaking my sister's arm(although that one was partly accidental).
we were terrified when he got home from work, dreading to see him in a bad mood.
we weren't allowed to be ill, and woe betide us if we had a cough! he would accuse us of coughing on purpose, just to get attention. we learned at an early age to cough into our pillows, as a shoe across the head really hurts.
in the early 80's, he got a job thatching cottages near the black forest in germany. he was away for 9 months, which was the happiest time of our young lives. mum is a soft touch, although more than a little insane.
things got really bad when my dad's hearing started to go. if you said something quietly, he would immediately leap up, yelling "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME, YOU LITTLE BASTARD?" if we said we hadn't called him anything, we got hit twice as hard for lying!

when i was about 22, he thought i'd told him to fuck off, which i hadn't. he screamed from the living room "i'll come in there in a minute and punch you!" well, at that age, i'd decided he was never going to scare me again, so i replied "come on, then, you deaf twat!"
he came roaring into the kitchen and chinned me! this took me by surprise, but not as much as my reaction took him by surprise.
i beat the living shit out of him.
he's never raised a hand to me since and we get along better than ever before. he still fights with my brother and sisters, but it's less physical these days, due to him getting older.
i saw him raise his hand to my nephew recently. i grabbed it, twisted it up his back, and told him in no uncertain terms that if i ever saw him hitting a child again, i'd kill him. i probably wouldn't, but he doesn't know that. i can be a scary bitch when i want to be.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Aug 2007, 0:24, Reply)