Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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thanks dadhere in the US, a lot of colleges require that applicants take the SAT, which is basically just a general intelligence test, with math and verbal parts (and now a writing part, apparently).
anyway, i was pretty nervous about the whole thing. i was a pretty decent student, but the college i wanted to get into had fairly high requirements, and i was taking this test on about 4 hours of sleep at 7:30 AM.
my dad drives me down to the testing place, i take the test, and wait for my dad to pick me up.
while he's driving me back, i'm talking about how nervious i was and also how i thought they were going to give us two bathroom breaks but only gave us one and i had to take a piss for the entire second half of the exam and oh God what if i didn't do well i'm not going to get into my dream school my life will be over oh God oh God
so my dad, being the master at comfort that he is, turns to me and offers this sage advice to calm my worried nerves and boost my confidence:
"y'know frogservo, college isn't for everybody. maybe it just isn't for you."
THANKS DAD. now tell me the one about how i was an accident, that always cheers me up.
ps, i kicked that test right in the balls, got into the college that i wanted, and i'm in grad school right now working on my master's. screw you old man
pps, naw my dad's alright. thick as a brick though.
(, Sun 19 Aug 2007, 4:44, Reply)
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