Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
« Go Back
I didn't want to learn how to ride a bike.I thought, no, fuck you, I *know* how to ride a bike. Just one with stabilisers on it. Stick them on a bigger bike and I'll be happy.
This terrible injustice was explained to my six year old self but I wouldn't have any of it. So they took me out to a disused airfield to learn to ride a bike, having sawed the stabilisers off of mine. I quickly formed a plan.
I swore loudly at my mum and when she told me off, I said "bollocks!" loud enough for my gran to hear. Then my dad shouted at me and locked me in the car while they walked the dogs.
And I never learnt to ride a bike since.
Punishments are all very well when you don't get what you want out of them...
(
Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Mon 20 Aug 2007, 18:17,
Reply)
« Go Back