Terrible ParentingMy parents used to lock my brother, sister and I in the car while they went to the pub for a "quick one" after work. This quick one might last several hours, during which they would send bottles of Indian Tonic Water to us by way of refreshment.
On one particularly cold evening, bored stupid, we lit a small bonfire on the back seat of the car using the cigarette lighter and the contents of the glove box. We owe our lives to passing winos. (BTW: Please no more Maddie or Jesus gags, they've been done.)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 16 Aug 2007, 9:47)
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Wild....I lost my parents when I was very young, only a couple of months old in fact.
We lived in the jungle, so there was no such thing as social services. Luckily a pack of wolves adopted me as one of their own. They taught me the ways of the jungle. ( I also learned that dog milk tastes shit).
When i left the scraggy little dug-out that was home, I met all manner of other animals in the jungle. They taught me some great songs. Eventually the local mafia boss (a mean bastard tiger) thought I was trying to muscle in on his turf and put a contract on me. I killed the fucker and still wear his skin as a hat.
Signed
Mowgli
(Who needs parents, I got by with a red loin-cloth and a few catchy tunes! *Boop-be-doo, I wanna be like yoo-oo-oo....*
(, Tue 21 Aug 2007, 14:43, Reply)
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