Terrified!Bathory asks: What was the most scared you've ever been? How brown were your pants?
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 5 Apr 2012, 13:32)
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Murderous rage Have you ever had someone give you a look square in the eyes that gives you a clear indication that you are about to get murdered? I have...
I used to work with a guy called "Nigel", six foot four built like a brick shithouse. Then on top of that add Falklands vet and angermanagement issues.
Long story short I inadvertently managed to drop a wardrobe on his head.
In complete silence he looked at the wardrobe, then at me, then back to the wardbobe before kicking it to splinters. As soon as it was reduced to matchwood, he lept at me and stared me down inches from my face shaking with rage. Then he went for a long walk and a quiet smoke.
I think I might be lucky to be alive.
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 8 Apr 2012, 15:08,
11 replies)
That sounds like Captain Placid. AICMFP(
The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 8 Apr 2012, 15:23,
closed)
So no five pounds?(
The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 8 Apr 2012, 15:33,
closed)
Long storyPlease.
(, Sun 8 Apr 2012, 18:38, closed)
agreedI think that is fairly crucial to the story. How do you end up dropping a wardrobe on someone?
(, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 7:33, closed)
Three blokes all end up at the Pearly Gates at the same time so St. Peter begins interviewing them 1 by 1.So he asks the 1st guy how he got there.
"I was suss on my wife for cheating on me so I came home early from work. Sure enough I found her alone but naked in bed and clearly having just had sex. I was so enraged that I picked up the closest thing to me, which happened to be the wardrobe and threw it out of the window but in doing so I slipped and fell out of the window myself and here I am."
St Peter asks the 2nd guy how he died.
"Well I was going for a walk and all of a sudden this huge wardrobe dropped out of the sky, fell on top of me and here I am."
St Peter approaches the 3rd guy and asks him how he came to be at The Pearly Gates.
"Well, I was sitting in this wardrobe minding my own business when..."
(, Tue 10 Apr 2012, 8:07, closed)
OkI was working at a dump (most of my Workplace boredom QTOW answers come from this place), which as you might expect was full of very large skips. About 3 x 3 x 5 meters.
One big rule they had was under no circumstances go inside a skip that is in use. As People are liable to drop heavy things on you. This in in its self presents a problem as most people of a certain age are not to used to this new fangled recycling PC nonsense. So rather than sorting through their waste they like to dump it all in the large skip and drive off.
If there is too much contamination in a skip eg: one to many garden gnomes in the compost the recycling firm will reject it. The skip ends up on the landfill, and we get bollocked by management. So it was common practice to jump in and remove any misplaced items.
I was helping some people lift a large wardrobe over the side and forgot to check if anyone was in the skip. Too busy thinking of how soon I could take the load off my arms. As it tipped in I saw 'nigel' was right underneath where it should go, but too late to do anything about it. I scored a direct hit.
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 11 Apr 2012, 15:42,
closed)
@ The mock TurtleI'm not six foot four, neither am I a Falklands veteran.
Anyhow,. I don't have anger management issues, I use anger where it;s neccesary.
(, Sun 8 Apr 2012, 19:28, closed)
@ Captain P, I think your stories are great especially Bob's epiphany.You are just the sort of guy I would not want to meet in a dark alley.*
*Unless it was for Sexy Time™.
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The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 9 Apr 2012, 12:01,
closed)
Such as changing his name to protect his identity (
willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 11 Apr 2012, 15:43,
closed)
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