Terry. Greatest boss on earth and the tale of the scratchcard.
My boss and I got on famously well when we worked at the boomboomshakalakalakaboom plant. Terry would always complement me on my collection of putney elbows, and every lunchtime we would down flanges and wongmuppets and head off to shant in search of ferret weasels.

"Same again gents?" the barman would ask us. This would usually result in Terry unzipping his microscooter and spewing forth an acid like rainbow liquid from his marmite jar. "Balackomormanat" Terry would say, hand over a £7 note, and we'd eat our steak.

Anyway, back at work, Terry ruled with an iron fist, or as I liked to call it, an iron fist. People were scared of him at first, but after a few weeks of rape, limb removal, and 'tracks of my tears' being played over and over in the office, people got used to him and would often bring him in little treats such as wagon wheels (real ones, not the chocolate snack) and speculums. All in all, the team got on well, and production was on the up and up. It came to the point when Terry had to hire in a group of robots from the Terminator films to help assemble the new B566667/OA4 model we had been working on, which proved very popular with the clients. After all, it was lemon scented and very sharp.

The robots happily downed thier lazer guns and worked very dilligently, and when production bottomed out, Terry had to let them go again. He didn't relish having to tell them, but whilst he could tell they were distressed at the news, thier emotionless faces were an added bonus as he settled up with them. Even at thier leaving drink he was quids in, as they didn't drink. A few bags of McCoys between them and that was it.

All this came to an end last week however. Terry was arrested after 6789 indecent images of waffles on his computer. He had taken it to PC World and the engineer alerted Birdseye. The company has now folded, and Terry is looking at 5 years in prison. I still can't believe that a person I respected and admired is nothing but a filthy potatofile. It was the best job I ever had, and now it is all over.

I'm very quiet and enjoy backgammon.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:20, 8 replies)

That nakes no sense!
What's a "Lazer"? Is it related to a "laser"?*


*Yank spelling nothing- it's an acronym so is definitely laser**.


**which weren't used in the Terminator films. If Arnie's list in T1 is anything to go by they used phased plasma rifles in the 40w range. I guess they could have been arm-barcode laser-tattoo bots but why would... I'm rambling, aren't I?
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 9:48, closed)

What is 'nakes' cockmonkey?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:08, closed)

*click*
I enjoyed that.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:02, closed)

Specula.
I'm sure it's specula.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:27, closed)

Speculii?
Speculae?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:51, closed)

And the prize goes to.......
You!

Epic Win of the EffinDoubt Surrealism award for Surrealism!

*Standing ovation*
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 13:20, closed)

Makes perfect sense to me!



Wibble.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 16:19, closed)

As a great man once said
7/10

Needs more autism.


Very enjoyable though.
(TheColonel, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 10:13, closed)