I hate my boss
I work for a pretty famous company known throughout the world, for the sake of anonymity and the way I’m describing things I will keep the place name off of here.

The boss is seen by most people as a good bloke who loves his job but to be more precise he is a total ass to everyone and enjoys mistreating his workers (Myself included). His hiring policy is to use immigrants like me to do everything for a fraction of the cost. I know that we were shipped into the country illegally and he dosen’t give a monkeys as if anyone comes to review the site he will happily pay them off. As we are also cheap workers he uses us to try out all manner of unsafe chemicals etc he plans to use.

He also goes by the policy of hiring people that are shorter than him so then he has a feeling of superiority over the workforce (my mate who was 6 foot 2 was turned away). I have a feeling that this guy must be a member of the BNP or something as even though we speak English he also likes to call members of staff to him via a variety of hand gestures/ stupid sounds/ playing a flute he keeps in his pocket (I know this sounds weird but we low level staff have got used to it by now).

I have to go now, the boss has arranged for me and a few mates to sing a few songs to entertain a few kids that have won a trip round the place with a golden ticket. I just hope that one of them comes a cropper so we can take the piss.

I hate being an umpa lumpa

(P.S Before any of you say anything about forming a union or something we tried that but a few days later the union leader was found drowned in the lake with an everlasting gobstopper placed in each of the now hollowed out eyesockets)
(mon bison powered by magnets, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 10:57, 7 replies)

Ha!
Lovely job! Click!
( SpankyHanky, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:01, closed)

That's...
Oompa Loompa, surely?
(Mork, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:07, closed)

There there, have a click
you hideous orange freak.

Edit: removed smiley, forgot where I was for a second there.
( Scrumper, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 11:08, closed)

Not many people know
That in the original published bersion of the book, the oompa loompas were black and 'a tribe of pygmies from deepest, darkest Africa'.

The publishers forced Dahl to change it because of overtones of racism and slavery...
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 12:46, closed)

Oompa Lumpa zipadee
Union leader tragedy
( Weejock, Fri 19 Jun 2009, 15:22, closed)

Nice one
Got a vague sense of unreality about the point you mentioned the chemicals.
(Scritty Bakerman., Sun 21 Jun 2009, 9:36, closed)

The wee man who plays the Oompa Loompa in the remake
is a friend of my Uncle's. True story.
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 14:01, closed)