Ok well considering it was my idea here's my story
Only twice have I been the victim of theft. Unless you count when my humour and soul was destroyed and stolen from me but that was when I met /talk recently.

However the more interesting story is when I actually stole something which again is twice on my lifetime each with devastating consequences.

I have a friend called Chris, I say friend he was a humanoid that lived 2 doors away from my mothers house when i was 16, he was a cunt, not just a cunt he was a special kind of cunt he was ginger, ginger with an older brother called Geoff who liked to spell his name as "Jeff". Geoff was the cooler of the bothers he wasn't ginger for a start he was also older and a bit of a spastic. When I say spastic I mean he was cooler than you and me he had a perm.

But he also had a car.

He used to prove his coolness by showing his six pack to his ginger brother and then making his ginger brother punch him in the six pack so he could then punch the ginger one in the middle squishy bit of his body...he did this for about 4 years every day, unless he was ill or getting his perm remade by an extra from "coming to America"

Anyway one day when "Jeff" was off having his perm "glowed" we stole his car. We stole it as far as it took for the road to kind of....straighten up....at which point we drive it into the wall ahead of us. Which was right outside of "Jeff's" house.

I will never forget what ginger Chris said to his brother while his pride and joy was parked in a wall,
"Am sorry sorry sorry Jeff honestly sorry, I thought the car curled as well"

If you read this "Jeff" you fucking spastic we stole your car and drove it into a wall cos you are a cunt
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 2:44, 4 replies)

All well and good,
but who stole your ability to form coherent sentences?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 9:27, closed)

When I wrote this apparently

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 22:28, closed)

I think the medication is starting to work

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 10:01, closed)

fuck me i wish mine would kick in soon

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 8 Nov 2013, 12:21, closed)