Wear A Tie - Die!

In the late 90's I was hired to run a project at a large insurance company in the North West. I got the job as the new head of IT was an old boss who I got along with famously. As part of my TOC I'd insisted that I wouldn't have to deal with users and I wouldn't have to wear a tie. A suit - yes, but no tie. We also agreed that I could wear scruffs (jeans and t-shirt) when needed.

So I started work and, on day one, was hassled by the head of HR for not wearing a tie. I calmly explained that I didn't work for his company, I was an external consultant, and if he had a problem with that to take it up with the IT Director. This didn't go down well. For the next month, on and off, I was getting copied in on snippy emails where my act of defiance was being held up as the first step to the moral disintegration of the company.....

Then, one day, I came in in scruffs. He went fucking ballistic! He was about a cunt's hair away from actually frothing at the mouth. He did have little bubbles of spit on the corners as he ranted and raved about my attire. It could have been frightening if he wasn't such a short-arse but he eventually wound down enough to actually let me speak.

"I'm going to be spending most of the next week under the floor tiles, running cables. Do you really expect me to wear a $1000 suit to do that?

"Yes" he snarled. "Unlike you, WE have standards"

"Talk to John" I sighed "I don't have time for this. I, unlike you, am only bothered about getting my job done properly"

So this was the pattern of the next few months. He'd bitch and rant, I'd ignore him. Until the glorious day (for him) when I walked into the office at 2pm wearing a suit and tie. He looked as if all of his birthdays had come at once.

"Well I won't be needing that anymore" I said as I walked past his desk, taking my tie off...

"What? What? WHAT?" he spluttered "Why were you wearing a tie and WHY ARE YOU TAKING IT OFF!!!"

"Oh - I had a meeting with an external supplier. As I was representing your company I felt it appropriate to be properly dressed. You have a problem with that?"

"but...but..but.."

"Take it up with John I" said kindly.....

Finally my project was completed. Brought in under-time, slightly over budget but everyone was happy and I made my rounds of the floor shaking hands and saying goodbye to people. Head of HR bustles up. Shakes my hand and says:

"I know we've had our little ups-and-downs but I'm sorry to see you go. If you ever need a reference, give me a call"

Insincerity shone from him.

"That's very kind of you" I said (considering he'd been doing his level best to get me sacked from the day I walked in) "Could I have your business card?"

Beaming, he handed his gilt-edged,embossed, card over to me. I looked at it.

Then tore it into tiny pieces in front of him and let the pieces drift to the floor.

"Won't be needing that anymore" and picked up my bags and walked out.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 12:33, 4 replies)

Didn't know you actually owned a suit? And if you had to wear a tie I suspect you'd have to go out and buy one.
(Conundrum, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:51, closed)

You

can fuck off. I know who shagged your mum.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:59, closed)

BTW

I've a photo of the the 3 Legless brothers at your daughters wedding. Me and you look like gorillas who've been shaved and poured into suits and C looks like he's just about to stab someone.

The Krays have nothing on us..

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 15:06, closed)

Perfect
Well done for rising to the bait.

As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold.
(Barnetboy, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 14:55, closed)