I was at some dodgy party the other night and this bird was trying to get into my pants but this other bird scared her off.
Girls are always fighting over me.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 14:53, 15 replies)

they only try to get into the front
because there's plenty of space ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:16, closed)

Only because my pants are so huge.
Like my cock.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:37, closed)

so you're saying
you attract poultry fanciers?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:43, closed)

Like you didn't take up the hobby especially.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:48, closed)

i have no idea what you mean
*whistles innocently*
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:55, closed)

You dropped this copy of "Buxom Hens Weekly".

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 15:59, closed)

i got you that as a surprise

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:02, closed)

Cor!
Back in fi- make it ten minutes.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 11 Feb 2013, 16:08, closed)

Two.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 11 Feb 2013, 20:09, closed)

I am a Weird Shouty Bitch
Despite the fact that I have nice boobs, a face that doesn't need a paperbag and my lady bits work fine - sometimes I find it a bit hard to meet potential mates. Apparently the weird and shouty has something to do with that.
To try to ensnare a bloke I either

Talk to them about recently released blokey movies or
Entrap them in confined spaces like airing cupboards.

I also ward off competition by trying to throw them off the scent by telling them lies about my potential victim mate.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 11 Feb 2013, 22:19, closed)

You could fix a lot of these problems by signing yourself up for a dating site. Just a suggestion.
(Howland C. Pousiccat sailed away, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 2:42, closed)

I'm told OkCupid is good.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Feb 2013, 5:56, closed)

It's OK.
(Howland C. Pousiccat sailed away, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 8:08, closed)

Weak answer.
Sorry.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 12 Feb 2013, 9:00, closed)

That's alright, no need to apologise.
(WARNING - replies can and WILL get even shitter than this antique if necessary.)
(Howland C. Pousiccat sailed away, Tue 12 Feb 2013, 18:16, closed)