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This is a question Kids say the shittiest things

Smudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing

(, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Single question, double bigotry!
Might be roasting peas here, but it's been so long since I've posted that I can't remember doing it. Or the question. Or where I am. Who are you people?

Anyway, the story. Once upon a time, my aunt worked at a primary school. One day she's supervising the little chitlins when one of them comes up to her and asks:

"Miss... am I a homo or a paki?"

You can imagine the outrage that flashes through my auntie's mind in the moments following. She's already worked out the first half of the interrogation routine and mentally looked up the phone number of the child's parents.

Thankfully, being a Scot in a Scottish school, she translated the local patter into the Queen's and figured out what the child actually meant:

"Begging your pardon, madame, but would you happen to know whether I am marked down as a home lunch or a packed lunch?"

Darndest things, indeed.
(, Thu 23 May 2013, 16:34, Reply)

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