Kids say the shittiest thingsSmudge the Demon asks: Have your kids - or anyone else's - come out with something that provoked extreme laughter, embarrassment, fear or outrage? Tell us your little darlings' memorable sayings. It's like Take a Break's letters page, only with more swearing
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 23 May 2013, 15:28)
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Child abuse extravaganza!Way back, when I was just a Germankid of five (almost six!) years, my family moved to the US for a few years. A few months in, my english was getting quite good, but let's just say that it could have been more nuanced.
So there I was, down at the mall with my pappy. I saw a frozen joghurt stand, and did what sugar- and artificial flavor-starved children do: I threw a mid-sized tantrum.
Things came to a head when I got a 'reset' slap: I picked myself up and asked, in a loud, clear, carrying voice...
'Daddy, why do you always beat me up?'
Cue policeman overhearing this and asking me how often Daddy beat me. 'About one time every month' says I, still not knowing the difference between slapping
(of the non-british, non-happy variety) and beating someone.
It took mom, a cop who spoke okay-ish German and about two hours to resolve the situation.
Daddy=1 point, but
Child= At least 10
Still didn't get the frozen joghurt though :(
(, Fri 24 May 2013, 5:42, Reply)
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