Wurlitzer
My dad's side of the family are inbred pikeys. They refer to themselves as 'showmen' as they're fairground people historically, but at the end of the day they're pikeys. Crown Darby collecting, sovereign hoarding, water-can by the back door for posterity cousin-fuckers. When my granddad stopped travelling and set up permanently near Blackpool he opened a roller skating rink (later to become an arcade). The centre piece was a Wurlitzer 1015 jukebox (the classic). He eventually had to build a rail 'round it to stop 'The Teds' trying to burn through the plastic with their cigarettes and release the fluid from the 'rainbow' (which is actually virtually impossible). Anyway, when he did turn the place into an arcade he had no further use for the jukebox so sold it for £100 to another settled pikey. After five years the guy realised he didn't have need or storage space for it so he smashed it up. Smashing things up was part and parcel of the pikey/arcade owning business. When I was a lad I often had to smash surplus equipment up and loved doing it (my favourite utensil was the 5lb short-shaft lump hammer). With this very tool I dispatched old, useless, original arcade gems such as 'Asteroids' (I kept the manual), Space Invaders I, II and III, a nice Williams Defender and various other now collectible bits and pieces. This was before generic cabinets/interchangeable jamma boards became the norm. My pikey dad had always bemoaned the loss of an old brass till that was nicked from storage so one year I tracked an identical one down and made a 400-mile round trip to buy it for Father's Day. He didn't even acknowledge receipt, never mind say "thanks"!! He later went on to rip me off for a load of money I put into his business to keep it afloat. A true cunt.

Never, ever, trust a pikey. Even if they're your Dad (not that I'm still bitter or anything).
( routine has perfected burgers, Sun 17 Aug 2008, 0:01, Reply)