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Smash Wogan writes, "we all love our Mums, but we all know that Mums can be cunts, throwing out our carefully hoarded crap that we know is going to be worth millions some day."
What priceless junk have you lost because someone just threw it out?
Zero points for "all my porn". Unless it was particularly good porn...
( , Thu 14 Aug 2008, 16:32)
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*wheezes into thread at 2 miles/fortnight*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:24, closed)
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*appears to stumble and fall right in front of tourettes*
Damn, what are the chances of me falling just there!
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:33, closed)
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*Licks lips in anticipation, spies the prone Al and Pounces*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:33, closed)
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A little lower Legless... I'll just hold my balls out of the way for you... oh yeah...
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:35, closed)
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*tries to tag Humpty*
*misses*
Where the smeg has Legless gone?
Is he that spot on the horizon?
Humpty, we might be better going for a pint instead.......
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:35, closed)
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Ya big puff!
(OK, I know it's probably 5am in Oz or summat).
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:35, closed)
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when I'm wearing jeans ;o)
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:37, closed)
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*climbs out of the mud*
Oh look at me all wet a muddy, better get these clothes into the washing machine before I catch a chill eh?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:39, closed)
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*switches to Werther's Original greasy-voice..*
...Let's get you out of those wet clothes...
*****************
I think I may have just come up with the world's worst similie.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:41, closed)
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let me help you with that. I'm just about to PUT ANOTHER LOAD IN the washing machine (all these knickers I've been getting through - I've given up on the Tena Ladies - I'm wearing Kanga pants on Saturday!
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:42, closed)
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Can second-hand incontinence pads be used to cool one's fore-head once they've been allowed to cool down for a bit?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:45, closed)
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All it needed was A BIT OF A TUG, GETTING IT AT JUST THE RIGHT ANGLE...
Could you move a little to the left please?
Al's getting his kit off....
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:47, closed)
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surely they'd dry as they cooled?
I'm not volunteering to try it, though.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:48, closed)
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Although you'd probably end up smelling of wee.
How rude of me Humpty, I haven't yet said hello. Hello.
*EDIT* Good news re the washer. I'm down to my less favoured baggy boxers. I don't like them, they feel too loose and combined with the loose fitting linen suit are encouraging a level of 'swingage' that I'm frankly uncomfortable with when walking to the coffee machine...
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:48, closed)
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... someone's just given me some cake to munch.
does anyone FANCY A PORTION?
Ahh.. Hello.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:50, closed)
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some chocolate sauce with that. Or sauce of any kind?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:50, closed)
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*accepts cake*
Ooooh, it's all MOIST AND JUICY!
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:52, closed)
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the sauce DRIBBLED DOWN MY CHIN. Better get a cloth, wouldn't want to SPILL A DROP.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:58, closed)
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Look at that STICKY MESS...
Here pet, let's get you cleaned up...
*passes baby wipe*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:01, closed)
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What am I meant to do with this now?
Oh fuck, it's making a noise.
*holds baby at arms length*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:05, closed)
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.. is making me champ at the bit.
I'm going to go home and whip some more up...
*winks*
*waves*
*swaps 1st Vowels*
*Giggles*.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:06, closed)
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the wee witch is always wearing a two piece swim suit and is slathered in sun cream.
*goes to happy place*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:09, closed)
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I'll have you know I'm wearing my full Burlesque outfit just now, waiting to do the dance as soon as this f**king QOTW is gone.
*taps foot*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:13, closed)
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2 pages of "last post" crapulence...
*Tries to steady his shaking hand*
Wee Witch?... would yoube a darling and erm... do me a favour?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:44, closed)
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Not bad, thanks. Busy re-assembling new kitchen in between playing on here ;o)
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:49, closed)
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if you've got shaking hands already, you don't need TWW to do you a favour.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:50, closed)
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*steadies Humpty's hand*
Oooh you naughty boy, that tickles.
*giggles*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:50, closed)
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although, it's a bit warm now. Still, I'm sure it'll be fine.
*shakes bottle*
Why are you looking at me like that?
Tourettes :yay for girl power. Leave DG something to do, though. It makes them feel important.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 16:55, closed)
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I don't mind...
Actually, reassembling the kitchen would be preferable to the pedantic cock-itchiness I'm having to deal with from so-called 'business partners' I'm having to contend with here at the mo.
*looks forward to week off even if it will be spent decorating*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:00, closed)
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oops, that made a mess.
*hands over wet cloth*
No, really, it's better if you clean it. What do you mean, you can't?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:04, closed)
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I'm assuming it'll be decorating. Why, did you have something else in mind? Like going to see the Dark Knight?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:16, closed)
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Now, don't be coy, you know perfectly well to what kind of decorating I was referring...
*winks again, more theatrically this time*
Although I could rather fancy the Dark Knight too....
hey, what's al doing lurking in that corner?
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:21, closed)
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with sick from all the beer you'll be drinking!
Am I right? Am I? Do I get a prize?
Oh, I wouldn't go into that corner there tourettes, theres some whale meat and other substances on the floor.
edit - bye everyone i'm going home to decide what colour to varnish the floor.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:25, closed)
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Pebble-dashing the porcelain, that's what I meant!
Whale meat you say? It rather looks suspiciously like whale "fat" to me....
Eeeew - smells like it too....
*pinches nose*
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:28, closed)
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Ahh Swiss Tony how we miss you.
Well Paul, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
( , Thu 21 Aug 2008, 17:52, closed)
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