Tight Christmas
Excuse: I was saving my pocket money in a doomed attempt to complete the Panini Football 78 album. If anybody's got Gerry Gow of Bristol City for a swapsie, I'll be right over to rip your arm off.

Anyway - with Christmas looming, I found myself in the dilemma of purchasing myself a pile of lovely, shiny football stickers; or lovely, shiny Christmas presents for my family.

After two hours stalking the Basildon branch of Boots the Chemist, and latterly raiding the living room, here's what they got:

Dad: Roll of Polo mints
Brother: Three (count 'em - THREE) walnuts from the bowl in the living room
Sister: Three Brazil nuts, also from the bowl in the living room
Mum: Boots own-brand Ena Sharples hair net. 10p.

All done up in newspaper because I was too tight for proper wrapping.

For some reason the hair net went down the worst, and was brought up on EVERY subsequent Christmas Day. The old lady went to her grave several years ago, pointing accusingly with the words "hair net" on her lips.

Do you think she was trying to tell me something?
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 8:57, 1 reply)

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For "If anybody's got...I'll be right over to rip your arm off." I very nearly ruined my keyboard and my sinuses with hot tea when I read that.
(aeon chicken Like the Millenium Falcon, only slower and noisier, Sat 25 Oct 2008, 23:23, closed)