Tight-fisted or just bone idle?
My family ended up in the unfortunate position of being forced to socialise with another family because my sister and I had coincidentally been sent to the same primary school as their revolting kids, who were, coincidentally, the same sort of age.

There are several entertaining examples of this family basically taking advantage of our better nature - I admit, I'm not sure whether this is due to tightfistedness or due to their pathological ability to "use" people wherever possible. Still, one story sticks out...

When I was still but a prepubescent Crow, my family were on holiday down in the south of France. And very nice it was too.

Unfortunately, it transpired that this family were also taking a holiday down in the south of France, along with some other friends. We were cordially invited to go and visit them - "why don't you come and see us at the campsite? We'll have a barbecue."

And so we drive for what must have been nearly an hour to go and meet them at the time they suggest, to find that they've only just got out of bed. It quickly becomes apparent that the useless husband hasn't even unpacked the barbecue. Nor have they bought any food.

So, my mother ends up heading down to the shop with the wife of said family to obtain some food. Wife picks up a pack of sausages - "do you think this will do?"

My mother resists the urge to yell "Bloody hell, woman, we've got two families plus your other friends to feed here," and simply replies, "well, Crow could probably eat that by himself," before pointedly putting another pack into the basket. (I'm not sure, but I suspect they may even have split the cost of the food.)

Meanwhile, back at the campsite, my sister and I have been beset by their objectionable children. Believe me, this was not fun.

And not far away, it becomes apparent the Useless Husband can't work out how to assemble the barbecue, and is therefore just stood there watching my father do it whilst drinking beer and cracking weak jokes with his friend.

So when Matris Corvae and Wife finally return, at least the influx of food draws the attention of The Revolting Children, who start to kick up a god-awful racket along the lines of "when's lunch?", but thank the almighty they've been distracted from my sister and me.

Right, so Useless Husband had better light the barbecue, hadn't he?

Christ on a bike, he doesn't know how to start a bloody fire.

I kid you not: he quite happily stood around and drank more beer whilst my father lit the barbecue and cooked the sausages. Of course, he's one of those infuriating people who will wait until the coals are glowing nicely, and the meat's starting to brown on one side before finally leaning in to say,
"Can I help at all?"

Conclusion? We weren't invited over there for any hospitality. We were invited over there to cook their bloody lunch for them, half of which I think we subsidised, and provide someone else to entertain their Revolting Children.

Apologies for length. Apologies for deviating. I shall now breathe out.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:36, 6 replies)

I wouldn't call them tight.
Lazy, incompetent wastes of oxygen, yes. Tight? Not really.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:39, closed)

Yes, I think you're right.
As I was writing it, it occurred to me that the incidence of tightfistedness in this story paled in comparison to the extent to which they just took the piss.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 11:48, closed)

Morally tight perhaps?
Or maybe they were just cunts. Either way, have a click on me.
(syz, Fri 24 Oct 2008, 12:13, closed)

Should have used their father to stoke the fire
pun intended...I think?
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Sun 26 Oct 2008, 8:10, closed)

Ooh, yes, very well guessed, sir.
(Have I told you that one before, or was it so blindingly obvious?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 27 Oct 2008, 16:31, closed)

Oh, just blindingly obvious :D
.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 11:38, closed)