My mum...
...has done this so many times, the best I can remember was when she was assessing an elderly man's incapacity level before representing him in court to try and get him some benefits.

The old guy had a problem with his lungs and breathing, and was on a respirator that had to be near him all the time.

After the initial assessment, she goes back to see him and tells him that the chances of him getting a new car are slim, so "don't hold your breath."

He thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever heard though, and died from a laughing/coughing fit after she said it.


*Last bit may not be strictly true...
(gin'll fix it, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 16:00, 1 reply)

Few years ago
when I was working on a ward I chanced to pop into the day room and noticed a teenage lad and his dad, hanging around looking a bit stressed.

Being a kind nursie I offered them a brew. The father accepted but the boy said politely no ta, I have a drink with me, and waved a can.

I wittily replied 'Dr Pepper! What's the worst that could happen?' - that being the Dr Pepper TV jingle at the time.

In the ward kitchen where I went to brew up, my mate told me about the family who were waiting to hear if their mum would die that night...
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 28 Oct 2008, 17:19, closed)