i wish i didn't have a post for this one but unfortunately i do....
both my toilet stories involve a high level of drunkeness and an accompanying head injury.

1. i was in a small cubicle in the ladies at the pub and had just been for my 549th pee for the night (once you break that seal....). upon pulling up pants after doing the business i managed to slip on the floor, give the door in front a rousing glasgow kiss and knock myself unconscious, with my pants around my knees and the muff on display for all to see (so i was told). my friend had to jump the wall of the cubicle next door, drag me out to her car and drive me home (i was still unconscious). she then got done for drunk driving on her way home. next morning i had the mother of all hangovers, a gash on the top of my head and crusted blood in my hair. off to hospital, eight hours in A&E, 1 cat scan, 1 pee in a bed pan and 4 suppositories later and i come out with a sprained neck and severe concussion.

2. in paris a couple of weeks ago. out for dinner, loads of wine. go to late night bar, more drinks. back to hotel, in drunken state decide not drunk enough and open bottle of wine. pass out. wake up with vom in the back of my throat about to make its appearance any second now. stagger to the toilet, hit every wall along the way, reach the bowl, put my hand on top of cistern to steady myself while the puke flows freely, grab toilet lid instead and crack myself fair on the nose mid-puke. blood gushes out, streams down face to mingle with the vom already there. pass out on floor.

It won't be the fags that kill me.....
(firesnake, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 11:45, Reply)