When sphincter's attack
I have a certain love for "all things spicy", so imagine my delight when I found that my local supermarket started selling those chili's you get with your kebab's.
I bought lots of jars. A plethora of jarage perhaps. And ate them. Ate them with gusto and with everything. Pasta, Chips, Soup, just Cheese and Chili - Probably the only thing I didn't eat with Chili was my breakfast.
So after a few days of this, and sometimes getting the munchies and wolfing down just Chili on its own, the vast amount of Chili content in my stomach started to strike back.

I was on my way home from work, arrived at the station and made my way to my new ladyfancy friend I'd recently started shagging. I'd had bad indegestion all day, heartburn and everything else. Then, to my horror, I got a fairly large sphincter quiver, my first ever. This lasted for about 4 seconds and felt like my arse had turned into a rocket and was ready for blast off....

I then knew I had to drop my payload, and fast. Problem was I was in a house that I'd only been to twice before and there was no way I would destroy this ladies toilet (And most possibly the shagging oppotunity)
I made my excuses and left.

I had a 10minute walk. A 10minute walk I never want to experience again. With every 3 steps came the most almighty sphincter quiver, each one getting worse then the previous one. I felt like I was in labour and about to give birth to some alien chili gremlin.
After the last almighty contraction, I had to get my waddle on (Walking normally was impossible by this time, I was walking like a poor John Wayne impressionist), I eventually get my keys out, fingers clammy, chili sweating from every pore.
I get to the toilet - What then happens is a feeling I never want again.
Felt like a combination of a cluster bomb and a McSplurry, my eyes were watering, I was crying out due to the horrific blazing-ring-sting.....
Took a full week before defacting was a pleasure once again
FIN
( -:Coop:-, Fri 2 Sep 2005, 16:47, Reply)