Primarily...
...PLEASE REMEMBER that bogs are there for people to let nasty brown stuff out of them in a relatively dignified manner. People who impair this function in any way are evil bastards. I am considering mocking up some posters for a fake training course called "elementary toilet hygiene for gentlemen employees" to put up in the bogs at work.
At least at work I generally have a choice of cubibles if one smells slightly too much of warm shit; as a small child with severe nervous diarrhoea* running from shop to shop trying to find a: a shop WITH a toilet, b: a shop with an unoccupied toilet or c: a shop with an unoccupied toilet which still had some paper and in which the seat hadn't been cracked in half, used in place of toilet paper and then pissed on I was grateful for anywhere...
I'm generally better now but still have mild paranoia when leaving the house that I'll suddenly desperately need a shit and be unable to find any suitable convenience.

I know some people so this differently but in my house we always shut and locked the door when toiletting. I thus developed a fear of the bogs at school (which I carried through to uni and beyond) where the lock was broken and developed many means of keeping them closed with the tools available (belts, pens, coins and once a sock depending on the type of lock and degree of damage). Anyway, I was once trundling around Brixton with some mates from school in preparation for a Dylan gig at the Academy. We stopped for a McShit on the way for which I was quite desperate at the time; I was therefore somewhat disturbed to discover that the cubicle doors barely reached chin level, something I hadn't noticed on the way in but did notice when my pal peered over the top and pointed it out to me as I was just preparing to wipe.


*Fine during 30-minute car journey to town (before which I had thoroughly emptied myself at home). Step out of car. Develop immediate pressing need to poo. Set off at extremely fast walk for shops.

I was always fine on the way home.
( wingpig wish I'd known about liquify eighteen years ago, Mon 5 Sep 2005, 6:32, Reply)