Bloody cat
around 6 months ago my better half took a shine to one of the local strays, a pretty enough cat (if you like that kinda thing)but was completely ferral, you couldnt touch the thing for fear of losing a limb or 2

Things started out ok.. the cat was fed in the garden and made a dash for cover anytime i got too close to it. As time progressed the cat would allow you to pet it but was very unpredictable and would turn on you for no apparent reason. then when summer came and the weather warmed up, we had the back door open during the day the cat started exploring the house a little..

It was a sunny saturday morning, i woke up in bed alone, dragged my corpse downstairs to find a note saying that the Mrs and kids had gone to town, so i engoy a rare moment of having the house to myself... i went to the bathroom to takecare of morning ablutions all is right in the world peace and quiet, a read of the paper and a good dump..

The bliss was shattered by a howl hithertwo unheard by humanity and pain like i had never felt... the fucking cat had violently assaulted my bare legs whilst i was on the bog, a violent and completely unprovoked attack, my legs wer scratched and bitten to ribbons and blood pissed everywhere. The worst of it was the little fecker took full advantage of the fact that i was blinkered by the news paper and didnt see it approach.

Enter stage left the Mrs and kids... Oh how we laughed.. for about 10 seconds until i told them i wass gonna off the fucking cat

Well that was some time ago and the cat now sits on the Mrs's chair arm every evening lucking at me with the smuggest look on its face you can imagine
(Ickypimp, Mon 5 Sep 2005, 12:21, Reply)