Fruity
This was told to me as gospel but I fear it might be FOAF.

During a tea break, at the infamous Wakefield Morrisons depot, an ex-army type was holding court. He was explaining how squadies overseas and in need of some pleasure would poke a hole in a body temp grapefuit as 'It feels just like a real woman!'(tm)

A young lad they called Pid (as in Stu-), who was not the brightest, was hanging on his every word asked 'does it really?', to which my friend and others assured him that the army type was talking shit. The army bloke strops off, cat calls following, saying 'none of you lot have ever served overseas, I swear its true...'
They then continue to tell Pid not to believe anything that bloke says, not to be easily led and not to let him get away with his bullshitting ways etc.

Cut to the dinner break when my mate walks in to hear the Army bloke telling the same story, closely followed into the room by Pid whom on hearing, 'It feels just like a real woman!'(tm), shouts out 'does it fook feel like a real woman' (also (tm)).

Just then one of the shift managers comes in and anounces 'Some idiot has just stuffed a grapefruit down the toilet! Does anybody know who it was?'

AFL, you have to draw the line somewhere.
('tin'tintin, Tue 6 Sep 2005, 1:14, Reply)