Arboreal Ants of the Peruvian Highlands
Back when I was the 'Director of Biomedical Engineering' I had to teach a safety class called "Electrical Safety in Hospitals". I had about 15 minutes of information to share, and half-an-hour to kill, so I used to try and spin up each class before getting into the subject at hand; thusly:

"Ok, today we're here to learn about the Arboreal Ants of the Peruvian Highlands. Anybody here ever been to Peru? Any Myrmocologists? No? That's Ok. We're going to be covering 3 different species of arboreal ants, the leaf-cutter, the aphid-farming, and the bird-eating sub-genuses of the common army ant."

At this point people would begin looking around, wondering if they were in the wrong class. They might be remembering my 10-minute spiel from last year about blue being the next big color for roadside lemonade stands, or the year before's lecture on zebra mussel invasion of the Great Lakes. Some of them looked like they wanted to say something, but invariably NO ONE questioned my authority or the topic.

"Identified mainly by the distance between antennae stubs, the various types of arboreal ants will generally stake out a single tree as their terrritory. It goes to the diversity of these wet steppes that the ants are able to surfive wit hthis limit on travel."

Eventually I'd wind down, and ask the m "How long do you want me to go on about ants? Because we're here to talk about Electrical Safety in Hospitals".
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Sun 18 Mar 2012, 18:03, 6 replies)

So your story is
you regularly waste 10-15 min. of your trainees time?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 18 Mar 2012, 21:19, closed)

I'm sure you're a fucking riot at parties.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 18 Mar 2012, 23:35, closed)

You know you're sunk low on QOTW when Ring Of Fire is mocking your story.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 0:31, closed)

I can't see it here
but if it was anywhere as awesome as mine AB then clearly he learnt from the best, AB he learnt from the very best.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 19 Mar 2012, 1:13, closed)

How have you
managed to do 3 years of this without being punched in the face?
(username failed moderation, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 9:34, closed)

Tell me
More about the ants
Sounds a damn sight more interesting to me than electrical safety in hospitals.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 19 Mar 2012, 10:09, closed)