Since they retired
My parents, who'd always been your typical British package holiday tourists, jetting off to the Costa Del Sol once a year, have become serious world travellers. I envy them a bit, but enjoy the reviews from my Dad.

The Pyramids: 'Not actually as big as I expected'
The Acropolis: 'Shabby'
Beijing: 'You could get better Chinese food from a takeaway. Nice people though. Almost impossible to get a pint in an actual bar.'
Amsterdam: 'I liked it, but your mum kept having to wash her hair because it smelt of cannabis. The prostitutes in the red light district all looked a bit ropy. Your mum thought so too. Not like Bangkok...'
Eastern Europe: 'Great beer. Awful food. Like something my grandma would have cooked in the 50s.'
San Francisco: 'In hindsight, I probably should have shaved my moustache off before venturing to the local bars alone.'
Thailand: 'Wonderful! Full of Australians though. If you think about that, and add in London, it makes you wonder if there are actually any bloody Australians left in Australia.'
Rome: 'Eight Euros a pint. Eight Euros! Fantastic though. The Vatican's amazing. Very imposing. Makes you realise where Dan Brown was coming from.'
Edinburgh: 'We parked the car, opened the door, and your mum was going to step out, but there was a human turd on the pavement! I could tell it was human because it still had a bit of toilet paper stuck to it. We had a look around the castle and everything, but that experience certainly took the shine off.'
Mexico: 'A hellhole. Like something out of a sci fi film where there's been a nuclear war and everything's gone to pot. We got back onto the coach to California as soon as we could.'
Mauritius: 'The best holiday I've ever had. A beautiful place and lovely people. Eat the hottest food I've ever experienced. About half of them are homosexual, at a guess.'

He was right about Rome and Eastern Europe, though. I've yet to see the pyramids or the Acropolis.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 19:29, 7 replies)

...makes you realise where dan brown was coming from...
Brilliant
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 20:10, closed)

Hard to argue with any of that

( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 18 Apr 2013, 21:20, closed)

As an Edinburgh resident, I can't say that I've seen a human turd on a pavement.
But I can't rule out the validity of the story. Probably down the Cowgate, at a guess.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:15, closed)

I visited myself once
and thought it was nice. No human turds on view. Think they were just very unlucky.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 19 Apr 2013, 10:25, closed)

Glad to hear
That you don't keep turds on yourself.
(unclestinky, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 0:07, closed)

The turds tend to be down the closes on the North side of the High Street (Carruber's Close most likely), extra points for determining poor diet according to how they roll/bounce downhill.
(Benzyl, Sat 20 Apr 2013, 17:46, closed)

I was at uni in Edinburgh
I did a poo between two cars in a carpark on my way back to halls. I was so desperate I couldn't walk any more, it was about 2 in the morning and there was nowhere else to go. I just squatted down between two cars, laid my log, and quickly carried on with my journey.
( more balanced than jeremy beadle It wasn't me..., Sun 21 Apr 2013, 19:56, closed)