Well, it WAS a most treasured possession
Unfortunately, it has long since been consigned to the bins of history due to a friend betraying my trust.

Years ago, I used to have a massive pile of gold bullion that I nicked from a bus that fell off a cliff in Italy. Using an improvised system of pullies and cheap child labour, I managed to haul it all the way to Zurich and have it stashed in a tax-free bank account. Of course I also kept one gold bar about my person, which would help me get to sleep each night, as I would hold it and masturbate about my great wealth.

However, a few years later, that particular Swiss bank looked in danger of collapse. Indeed, as I walked in to withdraw my gold, a wall fell down beside me. This was worse than I was expecting. I would now have to take out all of the gold in one go; a logistical nightmare. Fortunately, a nice Austrian chap was behind me in the queue, and he offered to get some of his children to help load the bullion into his massive van. He said he had quite a large cellar that could easily accomadate such a quantity of gold. All he wanted in return was to have violent sex with my daughter. I agreed.

Over the next few years, I would occasionally lodge at his house and go down into the cellar every day to have sexual fantasies about my enormous wealth. We became great friends, but there was some mysterious threatening air about him that said he didn't like to be messed with and a slightly deranged look in his eyebrows. I foolishly ignored this at the time. Things started to take a turn for the worse in the summer of '84, around the same time as the great gold market crash of '84.

Having so much gold, I wasn't particularly bothered about the gold market crash. However, one fateful day when I was staying the night at my Austrian friend's house, I found a note from him. He said that he had been planning to sell the gold himself for a massive profit, but thanks to the impending gold crunch, he decided to get out of the gold market as soon as possible and enter into the ever realiable child sex slave market. According to the letter, I was to continue as before, everyday going down to the cellar to check on the "gold" and have sexual fantasies about my enormous "wealth". For 24 years I kept it up until the police were notified.

Naturally I'll never get that gold back as the police won't me sell the children that had been kept in the cellar. But all is not lost. I still have that one gold bar left. It's the one thing that's been constant ever since I found the gold bullion in the first place and no Austrian with a cellar can take that away from me. So I suppose that one gold bar, more than the gold bullion as a whole, truly is my most treasured possesion.
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Thu 8 May 2008, 15:24, Reply)