My old pal Yeti is a prize knob.
He’s just shy of forty, fat and ginger and a drug dealer. But he’s a rubbish drug dealer. Ignores business he desperately needs when he can’t be arsed with it, owes vast sums to all and sundry and has had more lines of credit cut off due to his bungling that you could imagine. He’s never had a proper job for longer than a day (he got a job in a herb production greenhouse operation in Essex and flooded it by 2pm on his first day). He should be seriously rich by his age but hasn’t a penny and lives on people’s sofas until they kick him out. He also stinks of BO and mildew.

All these dreadful things pale into insignificance though, when you hear of his delusional bullshitting ways. Behind his back he’s called ‘The King of Romania’ due to a series of ever-less-believable yarns he spins ad nauseum about the 5000-people parties he used to throw in Romanian castles etc etc. He’s told me exaggerated bullshit versions OF MY OWN ANECDOTES which he was not there for.

The heartbreaking thing is that deep down he’s a lovely bloke but he is such a fucking knob it all got too much for me and having spent 20 years apologising to all and sundry for his knobbishness I finally got him out of my life last year.

The end.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:37, 15 replies)

By "My old pal Yeti" do you really mean
"Me"?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:42, closed)

No*






*yes
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 11:43, closed)

Retells other people's stories?
It's not AB, is it?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:08, closed)

No*





*yes
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:31, closed)

'exaggerated bullshit versions of other people's anecdotes?'...

It's not me, is it?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:44, closed)

No*




*yes
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:55, closed)

Just shy of forty.
It's not me is it?
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:48, closed)

Yes*




*yes
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 12:58, closed)

Will you lend me £1,000
and let me bum you?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:10, closed)

Yes*




*hell yes
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:12, closed)

I have a friend very like this
except that I've been with him on adventures often enough to realise that the stories he tells, which sound like utter delusional bullshit, are in fact true. He's just the kind of person that weird shit happens to.

And he's always so guilty about the money he's bummed off me over the years that he always gives me free drugs. Which is nice.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 13:49, closed)

Yeti's yarns usually have a kernel of truth to them, they're not often outright fabrications,
but when you have heard them 1000 times, you want to fucking die when some new victim gets the King of Romania treatment.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 14:12, closed)

Pray tell, how did you get shut of him?
There's probably a qotw in that.
(squigbobble existed, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 15:16, closed)

Nah it was all rather minor. He stitched me up for what was really a very small sum
and that gave me the excuse to blank his calls and texts from there on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 16:11, closed)

He's obvs never met your brother, if he's survived to the age of 40 and retained his head.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 19 Sep 2013, 19:34, closed)