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This is a question Twattery

Nigella Pussycat says: Tell us about utter twats doing remarkably twatty things. Or have you ever done something really twattish to a friend, loved one or pet? In summary: Twats

(, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:30)
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Mechanic twat
My wife recently bought an new old car from a guy in the paper. It was lovely on the drive home and we parked it in front of the mechanic's shop a couple of doors down from our flat.

Next morning wife gets in, turns the key, engine roars to life then cuts out. She tries again, engine roars into life for a second and dies again. After about 20 attempts she comes to get me, I get in and try, the same thing happens over and over. By this time all the guys from the mechanic's shop have come out to have a look at what we are doing, they are standing in the doorway apparently amused by our troubles.

It dawns on us that we have been ripped of bought a duff car and wasted the best part of £2000. I do the walk of shame and ask the mechanics if they could take a look.

four of them walk over, umming and ahhing, sucking through their teeth, scratching their chins, they open the bonnet, look under the car, lift up the carpets, kick the tyres.

Mech "new car"
Me "yeah, got it yesterday"
Mech "how much?"
Me "£2k"
Mech "oh dear oh dear, did you get a warranty?"
Me "no"
Mech "and now it won't even start?"

By this point his mate can't hold it in any longer and bursts out laughing. I can't see anything funny with the situation, I have just been ripped off to the tune of £2k and my wife has no way to get to work I snap

"look, is it expensive to fix?"

Mechanic takes a long hard look at me and slowly says

"No, See the button on the back of your key? It turns the immobiliser off. Press it"

Twats had realised the moment my wife had tried to start the car that the immobiliser was on but wanted to see how long it would take us to ask for help.

I have never been happier to realise someone was being a twat.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 9:31, 5 replies)
My mechanic standards he was saintly
Suprised he didn't convince you to leave it with him and charge you 500 quid to fix it.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 9:40, closed)
How does an immobilised engine
roar to life at all?
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 11:13, closed)

I don't know, I'm not a mechanic. But runs for 1 second then cuts out when the immobiliser is on.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 12:32, closed)
It depends
Some immobilisers work by cutting the power to the starter motor so that it won't turn over (but you could still bump start it if you got it to move fast enough and chucked it into gear - this of course only works if it has a manual gear box).

Other immobilisers cut of the fuel supply. This is easier on modern engines where they have electronic fuel injectors etc. On older models they may have chosen to cut the power to the fuel pump (if it's mechanical, they cant use that approach).

So it is entirely up to the designer of the immobiliser as to what symptoms he decides to get the car to show when it's on. But normally there's a flashing light on the dash to give you a clue.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 13:22, closed)
I thought you were going to say
That the mechanics had taken the dizzy cap off during the night so they could charge you £500 to put the same one back again while making up some plausible 'fault'.

That would be twattish. Laughing at you and your wife for not thinking straight is fair comment, I'd say.
(, Fri 13 Apr 2012, 14:13, closed)

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