How NOT to lose your job and become unemployed...
1) Never be too keen to know your job role, how it fits within the company and it's impact on the company's profit & loss. Especially pointing out during review time how much money you've saved the company and how much money you've made the company. ESPECIALLY when part of your job it reporting on your companies Profit & Loss.

2) Never work harder than your 'colleagues'. You might be damn good at your job; work that extra time to make it a top notch job (without being paid overtime) or finish your designated work within time. Don't ever show what a bunch of lazy tossers your work 'colleagues' are. Pride in your work means nothing against your colleagues slagging you off to the boss.

3) Never show any initiative. On my last 'review' I was marked a 2 out of 5 on my 'Improvisation to Increase 'Company' Potential section'. This was despite writing several macros to shorten our jobs, showing my manager how to use 'sort' within Excel (FFS!), explaining to my manager how reinsurance works (one for insurance workers out there). Why did I get 2 out of 5? My managers' comment "'Smurf' has been a great asset to the team and has mixed in well (there were only 3 of us!!!!!). However, he should try not to think out of the box to much. (sic)

4) Never look at progressing your role,certainly never look for promotion and don't EVER know more than your manager (even if you really do).

I would like to say that I learnt the lessons above and have prospered, but I haven't, because I didn't follow them.

All you need to get on in employment is to kiss the right arses, and I refuse to do that.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Fri 3 Apr 2009, 22:35, 1 reply)

Don't know more than your manager?
How the HELL do you make it look like you know less than your manager?

How often is a manager technically skilled in the field the people they manage are in?

Best you can hope for these days is someone who deflects the pointless company bullshit away from you so you can get on with your job.
(Scritty Bakerman., Sat 4 Apr 2009, 23:50, closed)