How to keep your job
Pray successfully?

First jobs are nearly always crap. Everyone knows fresh graduates arrive clueless and grateful just to be there. But one good entry on the CV is 10000% better than none! So stick at it, but don't worry. The second job will be a more considered choice. Hopefully, you'll be going in with a little more confidence, have a little more experience, know yourself and your chosen industry a little better.

Here are a selection of tools for the Long Haul until death/retirement:

Making yourself indispensible is good, but don't be too good, or you'll never get moved on.

Learn to look busy even if you are not.

Get good at petty office politics by staying away from them. Be super-duper-willy-wooper-fucking careful about confiding anything personal or commenting on anyone else.

Don't get drunk at the party and piss in the punch.

Smile and never moan as you do all the crap tasks no-one else wants to do.

Smile more and moan less as your youth, cheapness, energy and inexperience are exploited for other's gain. Learn all you can along the way.

Don't eat all the biscuits at the meetings.

Don't talk, eat, laugh or fart too loudly.

Be brilliant, all the time, at everything, and don't make any mistakes.(doesn't always work, this one)

Learn to live with uncertainty.

Learn to enjoy the long-term company of a group of people who are like neighbours, but are all in same house. Add occasional and sporadic boredom.

I suck at nearly all of the above, so now I'm self-employed. Fuck all that shit!
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Tue 7 Apr 2009, 0:55, Reply)