Not unintentional for me, but…
I used to have a bit of a health problem, namely that I suffered from Bradycardia – for the non-doctors, a slowed heartbeat. Now this isn’t a particularly pleasant condition and the basic treatment is to make your heart beat faster by giving you adrenalin. This comes in the form of an epi-pen.

My doctor was still trying to figure out what was wrong with me, but I wasn’t about to be confined to a hospital for a pretty minor problem – I wasn’t about to die from it! But my biggest problem with regards to this was having to go to the pharmacy all the time to stock up on medicine, I couldn’t be doing that all the time, and there’s only so much they’ll give you to stop junkies abusing the stuff.

So anyway, my (slightly non-PC) doctor gave me a list of things I could do to help instead. I took cocaine, drank Red Bull and ate energy pills like they were going out of fashion. I also robbed stores, held people up at gunpoint, and (making my way back to the topic) ended up shagging my girlfriend on a newspaper box right in the middle of a crowd of Asians. She wasn't having any of it to start with, but once we got into it she was just loving it. Did the trick for the old ticker too, I’ll tell you now. She wasn't best pleased when I answered my phone halfway through though!

There was the other time we did it in the middle of a racetrack, but that’s for another day…
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:34, 6 replies)

Did you pay
the owner of the car you flattened?
(sephjnr, Fri 29 May 2009, 12:38, closed)

Crank 2
Alright there Jason Statham, you are a ledgend!
(d347hm4n Fraggin your ass!, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:03, closed)

Fooking terrible film

(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Fri 29 May 2009, 13:26, closed)

*Flounces in*
Did someone say Jason Statham?
*Looks around*
*Realises JS isn’t actually here*
*Dies a little inside and leaves*

Oh and click :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 29 May 2009, 15:20, closed)

haha
had me going right till halfway through
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 29 May 2009, 16:12, closed)

Fuck you
Chelios
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 30 May 2009, 4:04, closed)