The Pants
Mrs Flatfrog is wardrobe mistress for a theatre and as such is well used to nude encounters of both the expected and the unexpected kind. A certain kind of young actor seems to get a sad thrill out of being manhandled by the wardrobe girls (although less so now that she's a thirty-something mother of two than when she was a twenty-something slip of a thing).

But the phrase 'wardrobe dragon' hasn't gained currency in the thespian world for nothing. Her tutor at college included actor management among her curriculum, and they had a special method for dealing with the pervs.

The scene was this: Actor arrives for a fitting, and casually remarks 'Oh, I'm really sorry, I forgot I had this and I'm not wearing any pants'. 'That's all right', they were trained to reply. 'Just slip these on'.

And the erstwhile flasher would be presented with The Pants. These were a special pair of large grandad-style Y-fronts which had been there for a decade or more. They were grey and grimy and slightly encrusted, as they'd never been washed. The actor's face would drop. 'Seriously?', he'd invariably ask. And a bright, pretty, professional face would say 'Sure, it's no problem'.

They only ever tried it on once.
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:51, 1 reply)

Stuff of genius
My friend was assistant wardrobe witch on a few musicals last year and will be going back to it once she's finished uni. Part of her job was to run to H&M every few weeks to buy some box fresh pants for when the actors forgot to wear their own. She'll love this approach.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 11:04, closed)