When I was but a boy
Of around 12 or 13, I had a good friend who, looking back was outrageously camp and unquestionably gay. Not that it stopped us having a good time....ahem.

Before this progresses into a homo-erotic frankspencer effort, let me get back.. This chuffters father owned a fair bit of land out in the country, and a group of about 5 of us went "camping" there during one long hot summer.

Things can get quite scary for an impressionable youth like myself, especially out in the dark in the middle of nowhere.

I know what you're thinking you sick animal and at no point will this story turn gay.

So around midnight the topic turns to ghost stories and urban (or rural! ha!) legends.

It transpired that a few miles out in the country there was an abandoned house where once a woman did live. Now I can't quite remember the details, but this ugly and lonely woman, with such a burning desire for a child "mated" with a rabbit(!) and produced some kind of mongrel humany rabbity monster baby.

However God or nature didn't take too kindly to this DIY family planning and ended this babies life in its infancy.

So off we ambled in the dark to this so called house to find "evidence". Even the talk and walking in the dark was making me shit myself, and for some reason I thought I was being watched - possibly by Rabbit Satan - as we stumbled around the country trails.

We eventually made it to this godforsaken abandoned cottage, and complete with torch plus stick (to help defeat any still-surviving rabbit-monsters) we entered.

My god, it was like the Blair Witch project before that poor excuse for a film was a twinkle in some cunts eye. Scary half torn wallpapers and curtains... Damp on the walls... Weeds growing within.. Awful stench - the lot. Yes I was just about ready to have a full on seisure. Which would be disastrous as we all know rabbit-men like nothing more than to rape semi-conscious young boys.

At the back of what could of been a bedroom, we could see through the murky air, illuminated by the moonlight poking in through the broken old window... What appeared to be... A childs cot....


Naturally we edged closer, pushing each other on to have a look inside. Someone thrust the torchlight inside and my good god yes indeed was the carcass of what looked like a vicious Ferret fully clad in baby clothes. Remnants of dead flesh still clinging to its face. And of course a ghastly snarl like the cause of death was rupturing the anus with a snooker cue.

What.
thefuck.


Cue Goonies like comedy escape with unmasculine screaming. Yes that's probably the most scared I've ever been. Maybe twas the dark/full moon.



Or maybe it was the fact some psycho-spastic dressed a dead rodent up in baby clothes and left it to rot.....
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:28, 4 replies)

Imagine how the ferret must have felt
*clicks*
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:36, closed)

*clicks*
just for "mongrel humany rabbity monster baby"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:48, closed)

The rabbit baby
has the body of a rabbit, but the mind of a baby.

We know because they keep it in a pram.

(sorry)
( Maladicta, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:13, closed)

Or
One of your friends planned it all in advance?
(kitescreech still here, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 17:40, closed)