Nice to be back!
During my Yoof I used to smoke a large amount of skunk. Being a twatty, ratty teenager who clearly knew absolutely everything about everything – I would only smoke the strongest skunk I could get my hands on.

Over the course of a year I spent every day stoned. The first and last thing I would do every day was to smoke a joint. It took me some time, but, I eventually realized that this stuff was turning my brain into a completely empty void. I grew out of it as quickly as I had started doing it.

When walking home from the pub I used to walk across a very large common. It saved about twenty minutes off my journey going this way, but, the common was pitch black at night and quite spooky.

This particular Sunday evening was quite a misty October special. I was already quite stoned by the time I got to the common, but, decided that the best way to face the spooky misty common was to role up another spliff. Perched on a bench - the job was done in minutes and I happily started strolling across the common. The sun was setting and darkness was creeping up very quickly.

Now the first part of the common was open field. This finished at a huge wall of trees which formed the forest which had many large clearings and many thick, dense areas of woodlands until it finally opened up into another field and rejoined civilization.

As I approached the wall of trees I felt a strong wind come towards me. I was VERY stoned by this point and the chill unnerved me. I quickly realized that the wind was bringing in a more dense mist and by the time I was in the forest I could only see about 20 foot ahead of me. The Sky was now almost black.

It was then that I got my first glimpse. It took my heavily stoned brain a few seconds to compute what I was actually seeing. Through the mist were some bright balls of light. They had just instantly appeared. They were hovering a little above the tree lines. Due to the distortion of the light, through the mist, I could not work out there size or how far away they were – but they seemed to bob slightly.

“Stop being a twat” I thought. But being a twat was something I had mastered.

I decided to carry on walking and ignore them. Within five minutes I had regretted that idea. Out of know where another Orb appeared behind me. Then another. Then one appeared in front of me. Then one to my side. I was surrounded by about 8 of these bobbing orbs of light. There was no sound and there was no one else around in these woods.

The effect of the wind on the trees and the light made some of the most horrific looking shadows. I felt that unmistakable rush you feel when your body considers “flight or fight.

Mine choose Flight.

I fucking pegged it.

I got home panting and coughing – I banged on my door and my dad came and opened it.
I ran in and went to bed. Although I didn’t sleep.

The next day – I shot out of bed – I had this brain wave that if I could find some proof – I would be rich – and I might get to meet Dana Scully. And she was fit.

I grabbed my Polaroid and ran downstairs.

My eyes were instantly drawn to the local newspaper which was on the hall floor.

On the front page was an article showing the glowing orbs above the common

“shit – someones got there first”

I picked up the paper - Under the picture was the headline

“Council erect solar powered lights to aid dog walkers”

It must have been a slow week for the Guardian that week.
( KISS.ME.WHERE.I.POO Signed the sex offenders register on, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 0:49, 2 replies)

supposed to be ``unexplained'' but...
i'll forgive you because it was A: masterfully told and B: hilarious
clickety click
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 1:36, closed)

Hahaa
Oh the effects of mild drug abuse
(Freddles, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 3:58, closed)