haunted my arse
A few years ago, me and my girlfriend were asked to spend the night in a haunted house, Chambercombe Manor

It's actually a really cool old cottage, and if you stay there you have the run of the place. Quite a interesting house. But then the guided tour...bloody hell.

On being shown a chest of drawers, the lady showing us round lifts all the drawer handles upright, balanced against the drawers. 'the ghosts like to knock these down' she says. I jump on the floor. The all fall down.
She glares at me. The rest of people staying there glare at me.

'This old rocking crib likes to rock on it's own. A baby once died in it.'

Again, I bounce on my toes. The thing moves. I'm giggling but suspect I may be about to be asked to leave.

One old lady whips out a pendulum and starts spinning it about. Ghosts, apparently. Another starts writing gibberish in a notepad and says spirits are guiding her hand. Oh do fuck off.

An evening unfolds of the most gullible people in the world slowly convincing themselves that there is a presence/ghost/spirit whatever. I gradually get more and more irritated.

Now, I grew up in an old house. It was noisy. It moved, creaked, groaned and banged. There were cold spots in the house for no particular reason. The cat would occasionally freak out for no particular reason. There were odd noises, and eerie groans when the wind blew from a particular direction. It wasn't haunted (though a few of my mates were convinced it was).

This place we stayed in was nearly 1000 years old, and made no noises, creepy or otherwise. It was the least creepiest or hauntiest place I've ever known. It was actually more eerie because of it's total lack of eerieness.

We went home at 2am, bored. The lady showing everyone the haunted stuff made out we were freaked out and couldn't handle it. We rolled our eyes and left them to their ouija board.

Idiots.
(inflateable, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 22:47, 2 replies)

hahaa
oh the click
now i'm rather closeminded about the paranormal but i sometimes make exceptions for really wierd stuff but i do hate it when people are so stupidly crap like that^
(Freddles, Tue 8 Jul 2008, 10:22, closed)

If I could click twice...
...you'd get one for an entertaining story about those gullible pillocks.
And a second for the title - I read it as "haunted my arse" instead of "haunted, my arse" and assumed it was going to be a story about someone with a ghost up their bottom.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Jul 2008, 21:59, closed)